Thanks to Nadaclue for this funny Ode to Taylor Hicks
To the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies!
Come and listen to my story bout a gray haired guy.
A broke bar singer who was barely getting by.
And then one day he decided he would go
to the Vegas auditions for the Idol TV show.
American Idol, that is. Bright lights. Simon Cowell.
I turned on my TV one night several years ago
and took my seat upon the couch so i could watch the show
There was this gray haired fella, leanin’ on some bricks.
when they interviewed him, he said his name was Taylor Hicks.
Booorne by the River. Swanee River Rock. I want my voice heard.
Something made me sit right up and turn up my TV.
And when he sang I could have sworn he was singing right to me.
Now Simon didn’t like him much, said he didn’t look the part.
But he made it through to Hollywood and that was just the start.
Bring on the Ray! Golden Ticket. Harmonica walk.
I rushed to my computer, I had to find out more.
Who was this gray haired fella? where had he been before?
On the AI boards I joined some fans of this man with so much soul.
Someone came up with a name and we became the Soul Patrol!
Obsessed, that is. Woooo dust. Gray Charles.
That first week in Hollywood he chose Levon as his song,
and when it was his turn to judge, Simon admited he was wrong.
When he made the “bust your buns” speech, we all turned to mush..
and when he shouted Soul Patrol!, he was talking straight to us!
Original Recipe, that is. Backward Leans. Dorky suit.
The next week he sang Easy, and we all worried he’d go home.
So we all learned to power vote, and use more than just one phone.
Then came Taking It To The Streets, He was really on a mission.
This was the Taylor we’d been looking for ever since the audition.
Now his bunny days are over. Zodiac-Killer Eyes. Dog pound wind-up.
By now I think a lot of us had found the Gray Charles site.
And we were all nervous wrecks on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.
Which song will he choose to sing? Should he dye his hair?
After they reveal the votes, will he still be there?
What the hell are Monkbots? Dial Idol. Go phones.
He sang Living For The Si-tay, and then Not Fade Away.
Ray Lamontagne’s Trouble. WTF? He does NOT look like Clay!
He was “Fearless, baby, fearless”. He did the Taylor-go Round.
He just stood still and sang a song and we all loved the sound.
Just to make everyone happy. Af-FECK-shun. Finger point.
Country Roads fell kind of flat, so let’s just skip to Queen.
The mic stand kick was definitely one of the funniest things I’ve seen.
He twirled behind the judges, he danced and had a ball.
Simon asked if he was drunk, Taylor said “Not at all”!
“Goin’ outta my mind”. Idols 07, Idols 07.
Then came “Darlin’ yoouuuuuu (finger point to the camera) send me..”
And all across the country, women squeeeed at their TVs.
The ending was amazing. The judges all were Wowed.
He listened to Rod Stewart about how to grab the crowd.
By the b@lls that is, Finger Snap. *Magic!*
Love Song week he sang “Just Once”, though he’d chosen a different song.
He was finding out that they made the rules, and so he went along.
He had played it their way long enough,he needed to find his groove.
Then we got the word, “watch out next week!” It was time to make his move.
Taylor concert, that is. Wild Cherry. George Harrison.
Play that Funky Music White Boy, was Taylor going for broke.
The chat rooms all errupted, and the Soul Patrol awoke!
Lest we forget, this was where the Boogie Board got its name.
In 90 seconds American Idol had been forever changed.
No cookie cutter pop star here. Tipping Point. Paisley shirt
Taylor had just shown everyone that he had come to play.
And the capper of the evening, was still half an hour away.
From the Beatles catalog he chose a classic song to sing.
And that’s the moment I believed he just might win this thing!
All Skate, Everybody Skate. Final Four. Off to Graceland.
Jail House Rock was so much fun, he had them dancing in the aisles.
And having no clue what the lyrics were sure didn’t cramp his style.
In The Ghetto sealed the deal in case there was any doubt.
And when the votes were tallied, the mighty Chris had just struck out.
“I forget the Hell out of some lyrics.” “As the world……turns”. Black leather.
And now it was down to just the final three.
They had their hometown visits, and got to see their family.
Elliott had us all choked up, his mom was a delight.
I’m glad she got to share his journey before she lost her fight.
The Galleria Elevator. Elliott’s parade. Kat in a helicopter.
First came Dancing in The Dark, the Paula dance was cute.
Simon blathered some insult, and The Soul Patrol hit Mute.
Randy chose You Are So Beautiful as Taylor’s second song,
and Taylor showed the whole world what we’d known all along.
Shoot. Blow. Holster. “you are a star.” “Well done Randy.”
Try a Little Tenderness was the song we had waited for.
He did it for the Soul Patrol, we could not ask for more.
He played chicken with the cameraman, and never missed a beat.
He nailed it and he knew it. This was his masterpiece.
“Good time funky Taylor”. Shaggy dress. Now that’s a love song!
Simon said the score was tied between Taylor and Kat.
Katherine took her turn, then Taylor came to bat.
The question that he asked us was, “Do I Make You Proud?”
I think he got his answer from the reaction of the crowd.
Standing “O”, that is, Power vote. Glory note.
Then came the announcement we had all hoped for.
Taylor was the winner and our Idol for evermore.
He had beaten all the odds, and taken home the prize.
And he became a star that season right before our eyes.
Soooouuuulllll Paatrooooooollll!! Silver Confetti. Woooooooooh!
Now I would like to thank you folks for kindly dropping in.
And helping me to remember all those days again.
Precious moments frozen in time that we all got to share.
It was a journey like no other, and I’m glad that we were there.
Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?